


Here With Me

by Snapbaeks



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:11:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6906520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapbaeks/pseuds/Snapbaeks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun thinks it's time to make it public</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [](http://baeklights.livejournal.com/profile)[baeklights](http://baeklights.livejournal.com/) in [](http://thedaelight.livejournal.com/profile)[thedaelight](http://thedaelight.livejournal.com/)

Jongdae first saw Byun Baekhyun when he was 12 years old. He had played the role of a bratty little neighborhood boy in one of the weeknight dramas his mother used to watch. He had a smile that made Jongdae want to smile too. He wasn't the greatest actor, his lines coming out all forced and his expressions overly exaggerated, but Jongdae was fascinated, hooked.

He watched every show that Baekhyun appeared on, begged his mother to take him to see all of his movies and every time, Jongdae would watch with that same fascination. With each new role, Baekhyun became more convincing, more popular, more charismatic and Jongdae's adoration just continued to grow.

If you'd told 12-year-old Jongdae that at 27 years old he'd be working for the actor turned singer, he'd have told you you were crazy.

But here he is, on the set of one of Baekhyun's photo shoots. His job isn't glamorous. It mostly consists of going on coffee runs and making sure there's enough food for everyone, that it's ready for them whenever they get hungry. And lots of sitting and waiting until somebody asks him to do something that no one else wants to do. But he's happy. How could he not be? He's being paid to watch his idol of 15 years pose for the camera.

And damn, does he know how to pose. The concept for today’s shoot is indie rocker. They have him dressed in tight black pants, a white tee shirt with a very low cut neckline, and a leather jacket that fits like it was made just for him. Jongdae watches from where he's setting up the table for lunch, unwrapping containers of ddeokbokkie, kimbap, and vegetable pancakes. Baekhyun runs a hand through his messy hair, tugging on it as he smolders at the camera, runs his tongue along his pink lips and Jongdae's mouth goes dry. He itches to run his fingers through those silky black strands, to sink his teeth into that pouty mouth.

He thinks back to all the times he'd dreamt of Baekhyun. All of the times he'd stroked himself to the thought of Baekhyun's pretty mouth wrapped around his cock.

If you'd told 16-year-old Jongdae that at 27 years old he'd be dating Byun Baekhyun, he'd have laughed in your face.

And yet.

Jongdae doesn't like to think about the night they met. His face still turns red at how he'd made a fool of himself.

He was 22 years old, waiting tables at a fancy restaurant to help pay for college. He was about to clock out after a particularly long and hectic shift when his manager had begged him to please take one last table.

All he had wanted to do was go home and sleep, but he really needed the money, so he retied his apron strings, put on his best smile, and walked into the dining room. He froze when he saw who was seated there.

"Oh my god! You're Byun Baekhyun." It was the first thing out of his mouth and pretty much the last thing he remembers about that night. According to Baekhyun, he'd introduced himself as Baekhyun's biggest fan, confessed to being in love with him since he was 12 years old, started to sing one of Baekhyun's own songs to him, and spilled water in his lap all before taking his order.

And somehow Baekhyun had found that endearing. He'd left his number on a napkin, "I really hope you'll call me" written underneath.

They messaged each other for a few months before beginning secret meetings at odd hours of the night. Thanks to Baekhyun's apartment with a high security underground parking garage, they were able to sneak Jongdae in undetected. It had been so exciting for Jongdae, so surreal, and he was constantly surprised that Baekhyun seemed just as excited as he was.

It had been Baekhyun's manager, Junmyeon's idea to hire Jongdae on as a member of staff. "Baekhyun's been complaining non-stop that he doesn't get to see you enough. I thought this might appease him a bit." Baekhyun had grinned so wide, hugging him tight when he'd accepted. "Of course, you have to keep this-" he gestured at the pair of them, "your relationship - between us."

Three months later, Baekhyun asked him to move in with him. Jongdae was hesitant, having known Baekhyun for such a short time, but he was young, and even with Jongdae as a member of staff, he and Baekhyun didn't get to see enough of each other. Jongdae honestly hadn't expected it to work, but they fit so easily into each other's lives. They liked all the same movies and TV shows, ate the same foods, they were both tidy, and most importantly they were both extremely cuddly. Most days, Jongdae would come home hours before Baekhyun, and he was always there to greet his tired boyfriend with a warm meal and a comfy lap for him to lay his head on.  
  
Jongdae's pulled from his thoughts by the photographer calling for a break. He unwraps the last of the containers and moves to the side, allowing the rest of the staff to get their food first. He pretends not to notice Baekhyun winking at him as he walks by, looking down at his shoes as his face flushes.

Only after everyone has piled their plates with food and scattered about the studio, does Jongdae wander back over to the table. He frowns as he notices there's only one lonely piece of kimbap and a few vegetable pancakes left on the table. It's okay, he thinks, he'll eat when he gets home.

He's startled by a warm, familiar fingers wrapping around his waist and pulling him close.

"Baekhyun," he whispers "people will see you."

"No one's paying any attention." His voice is low and his breath tickles Jongdae's ear, but he drops his hand anyway. "Oh good, there's not much food left. I came over to tell you not to eat too much. I have dinner plans. Wear something nice."

☆

Baekhyun had said he needed time to set everything up, so Jongdae takes his time showering, standing under the spray until the water starts to run cold. He flips through his closet, looking for something nice to wear (Baekhyun's orders), and settles on a gray wool sweater and a pair of Baekhyun's black skinny jeans that suit Jongdae's ass far better than they suit Baekhyun's. He glances at the clock once he's dressed and his hair is combed, deciding that Baekhyun's had plenty of time to prepare, and he makes his way to the kitchen.

He isn't sure what he was expecting, but he knows Baekhyun has gone above and beyond. A white tablecloth is spread over the small table in the corner of the kitchen, a handful of dark red rose petals scattered across the flat surface. The food - perfectly grilled hanwoo and all of Jongdae's favorite side dishes - is attractively arranged at one end of the table and Jongdae can smell it from where he stands in the doorway. Jongdae watches with amusement as Baekhyun tries to avoid burning himself while lighting the small tea candles lining the middle of the table.

Closing the distance between them, Jongdae wraps his arms around Baekhyun's waist and kisses the side of his neck. His boyfriend jumps in his hold, nearly dropping the lit match on the tablecloth.

"Shit!" Baekhyun blows at the match, putting it out before turning in Jongdae's arms and burying his face in Jongdae's neck. "You scared the shit out of me." His breath tickles Jongdae's collarbone.

"You're so cute when you're scared," Jongdae says against Baekhyun's hair. "You, like, vibrate and it's so adorable."

"Shut up." Baekhyun looks up then, narrowing his eyes at Jongdae, but then he smiles - the kind that makes his whole face light up and Jongdae's heart beat just a little faster.

Jongdae takes Baekhyun's face in his hands, a palm pressed to each cheek, and squishes; pushing Baekhyun's lips out comically and making him look like a fish. He kisses him. "What is this, Baekhyunnie?" His hands fall from Baekhyun's face, coming to rest on his boyfriend's shoulders and massaging them gently. "You're really late for our anniversary and way too early for my birthday."

Flashing a smile, Baekhyun reaches for the bottle of wine and the corkscrew on the counter. "Can't a guy just do something special for his boyfriend?" he asks twisting the coiled metal into the cork. "Go ahead and sit down. Everything's pretty much ready."

Jongdae does as he's told, sliding into his chair and stretching his legs out in front of him. The food smells delicious and a small rumbling in his stomach reminds him that he hasn't eaten since this morning.

"I ordered from your favorite restaurant." Baekhyun says as he pulls the cork free with a loud pop. "I wanted to cook for you, but you know how well that goes." Jongdae laughs, remembering the time Baekhyun had decided to bake him a cake for their 500-day anniversary. It had taken two days to get rid of the smoky smell in the kitchen, and the cake was inedible, but Baekhyun had looked so cute with spots of flour on his cheeks and icing in his hair.

"C'mere." Jongdae reaches out for Baekhyun, curling his fingers in his belt loops and pulling him close. "I don't know what I did to deserve you," he says wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's skinny waist and nuzzling his tummy. It's a thought Jongdae has often, but sometimes he feels overwhelmed by it. It's not just the way Baekhyun spoils him, buying him fancy jewelry and clothes that cost more than the rent at his last apartment. Jongdae appreciates all of that, but he could do without it. It's the way he never has to doubt that Baekhyun loves him. The way he makes Jongdae feel like he's the only thing that matters in Baekhyun's life. How he looks at him with so much adoration that sometimes Jongdae's face flushes with embarrassment. These are the things that make Jongdae's heart beat a little faster and tears prick at the back of his eyes.

He slides his hands down to the back of Baekhyun's thighs, pulling him forward so he's standing over him, legs on either side of his own. He takes the bottle of wine out of Baekhyun's hand and places it on the table behind him before tugging him into his lap. "I love you," he tells him, sliding his palms over Baekhyun's thighs and up to his waist. Baekhyun's eyes are sparkling and he's grinning wide, hands coming up to curl around the back of Jongdae's neck.

"Me too," he replies before leaning in to cover Jongdae's lips with his own. Slender fingers slide into Jongdae's damp hair as Baekhyun licks softly at his mouth. The food on the table is momentarily forgotten because all Jongdae knows is Baekhyun's weight on his thighs and Baekhyun's hands in his hair and Baekhyun's tongue seeking entrance to his mouth.

The wet slide of Baekhyun's tongue against his own has Jongdae pressing his fingers into Baekhyun's hips, dragging him forward. He angles his head, licking further into Baekhyun's mouth and they both gasp as Baekhyun grinds down, circling his hips and making Jongdae's dick swell in his pants. "Fuck," he pants against Baekhyun's mouth, tugging at Baekhyun's shirt where it's tucked into his slim black trousers.

Baekhyun pulls away then, standing up and patting Jongdae's cheek. "Later. The food's gonna get cold."

"You're terrible" Jongdae whines, kicking at him as he walks to the other side of the table and sits down, grabbing the wine bottle and filling their glasses with the dark red liquid.

They eat in easy silence for a few minutes until Jongdae's curiosity gets the better of him. "So really," he says around a mouthful of beef and rice, "What is this all about?"

"So you know how I have that premiere coming up...” Baekhyun pokes absently at his food, metal chopsticks scraping against the plate, and he wrinkles his nose at the sound.

"Yeah, of course." He pops another piece of meat in his mouth.

"I want you to come with me." Baekhyun looks across the table at Jongdae, chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek. It's a cute habit.

"I didn't think premieres were really the kind of thing the assistant to the assistant to the assistant of a pop star usually went to."

"They're not." Baekhyun reaches across the table, taking Jongdae's hand in his own. "I want you to be my date." He smiles tentatively, giving Jongdae's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I-" Jongdae's mouth is suddenly very dry. He takes a sip of wine. "Are you serious?"

Baekhyun looks at him expectantly from across the table.

"That's-" Jongdae can't help but think of how unfairly the public treats celebrities, of how many people have lost countless fans for far less. He thinks of the hurtful things people say. He doesn't want any of that for Baekhyun.

"I know it's big." Baekhyun squeezes his hand reassuringly. "If you're not ready, I understand."

Jongdae merely swallows, looking down at his food, and suddenly he's not feeling very hungry anymore.

"I've thought about it a lot." Baekhyun tells him. "I've even talked to Junmyeon and the agency about it." He tugs on Jongdae's finger. "Hey, look at me."

Jongdae does look up, then, and if Baekhyun is feeling as unsure about this as he is, his face doesn't show it. "I don't want to hide you anymore. Do you know how hard it is for me to be in the same room as you and not be able to touch you?" Jongdae thinks back to Baekhyun in that tight white tee and leather jacket earlier and how he'd balled his hands into fists to keep from pushing him bodily against the wall and kissing him breathless and yeah, he thinks he might have some idea.

"What we have is great, Jongdae, I don't want you to get the idea that this isn't enough for me." Jongdae hadn't even realized he'd had that thought until he feels himself relax a bit at Baekhyun's words. "But don't you wish we could..." He looks up for a moment, like he's trying to choose the right words; "I want to hold your hand in public, Jongdae. I want to take you to the movies and snuggle against you in the back row and feed you popcorn. I want to go to Lotte World with you and ride the Ferris wheel and kiss you when it stops at the top. I want to have a picnic in the park with you, and after we're done eating, you can lay your head on my stomach and watch the clouds. I just-" he lifts Jongdae's hand to his lips, kissing the backs of his fingers. "You want that too, don't you?" And there's that look again, the one that makes Jongdae's heart feel too big for his chest.

"You're so sappy." Jongdae teases, and he laughs when Baekhyun feigns offense and flings his hand away, pouting adorably.

"I am sappy." Baekhyun makes like he's going to kick Jongdae's shin under the table and Jongdae flinches, but then warm fingers are wrapping around his wrist, softly tracing the veins there. "and romantic and so what?" Baekhyun is smiling at him so warmly and Jongdae can feel that warmth filling him from the inside, settling into his bones and making him feel dizzy.

"I do." says Jongdae, covering Baekhyun's hand with his own. "I do want all of that." He's fantasized about it. Wondered if the day would ever come when they'd be able to openly love each other.

But.

"I know what you're thinking." Baekhyun's always been able to read his mind. "I know what the risks are, and I'm willing to take them." Baekhyun's gaze is fixed on him, unwavering, and Jongdae's not sure he's ever seen him look this serious. "I love my job. I love acting, I really do. I love to sing and I love my fans. But, Jongdae," he stops speaking for a moment, but he's looking so intensely at Jongdae, and Jongdae doesn't think he could look away if he tried. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "My career isn't going to last forever, but you-us.." He squeezes Jongdae's hand, as if for emphasis. "What I'm trying to say is,” He looks down briefly, and when he looks back up, his eyes are shining and fuck he looks so earnest, so beautiful. "I know that this could negatively affect my career, possibly beyond repair. But if it means I get to be with you, the way I really want to be, it's worth it."

And Jongdae's heart is doing that swelling thing again, and he can feel a lump forming in his throat, because he's pretty sure Baekhyun just told him he'd be willing to give up his entire career for him. But he could never - would never - ask that of him. "Baek-"

"You won't change my mind, Jongdae, so don't even try." Jongdae can't help but smile, because of course Baekhyun’s just read his thoughts. "I mean it when I say if you don't want to do this we don't have to. But if you saying no has anything to do with me, my career, fucking forget it."

"Okay." The word is out of his mouth before he even realizes it and he almost wants to take it back, but Baekhyun is already grinning at him, perfectly straight, white teeth all on display, so he says it again. "Yeah, okay."

Before Jongdae even notices that Baekhyun has gotten up from his chair, he's being engulfed in his boyfriend's embrace, frantic kisses raining down on his neck. "Thank you so much," mumbles Baekhyun, the sound muffled by Jongdae's shirt. Jongdae presses a kiss to the crown of Baekhyun's head before he's standing again, making his way back to his own chair with a giddy grin on his face.

Seeing Baekhyun so happy has a pleasant buzz running down his spine and out to the tips of his fingers, and he mirrors Baekhyun's smile with his own.

Baekhyun picks up his chopsticks, waving them in Jongdae's direction. "Now eat. I paid a lot of money for this."

☆

The weeks leading up to Baekhyun's premiere pass by in a blur and before he knows it, Jongdae's sitting in the back of a limo, rubbing his sweaty palms on his thighs and trying not to throw up.

"You're so nervous." Baekhyun observes with a laugh and Jongdae kind of wants to punch him in the face for being so calm.

"Yeah, I fucking am." He taps his feet on the floor of the car, fidgets with the window controls, takes a deep shaky breath. "How many people are going to be there?"

"I don't know. A lot." Baekhyun shrugs, then squawks when Jongdae smacks him in the chest.

"You're really not helping." Jongdae puts the window down, hoping the fresh air will help ease the queasiness in his gut, but then he remembers how long it took for Baekhyun's stylist to do his hair, and he puts it back up.

"Jongdae, relax." He grabs Jongdae's hand, lacing their fingers together. "It's going to be fine."

The car slows and he can see a crowd of people through the tinted window and fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "Oh God, we're there aren't we?"

"Look at me." Jongdae does, and god, Baekhyun is so handsome. His hair is swept off his forehead; his eyes neatly lined in black and Jongdae resists the urge to kiss him into the expensive leather seats. "You look gorgeous, Jongdae, and everyone is going to love you."

"What if they don't?" The car has come to a complete stop, and Jongdae's panic must be showing on his face because Baekhyun is leaning in and kissing him.

"Breathe." He whispers against Jongdae's mouth. "You can do this."

A man in a suit walks up to Baekhyun's side of the car, knocking lightly before opening the door and Baekhyun smiles. "We're up."

Baekhyun steps out of the car first and Jongdae can see the flashbulbs going off. He can hear everyone calling Baekhyun's name, trying to get a good picture. Jongdae looks up at him and he can feel his heart in his throat. He fights the urge to throw up.

But then Baekhyun is smiling at him, mouthing to him "It's okay. You're beautiful. I'm here," and offers his hand. Jongdae can make out a few whispers of "who is that?" as he steps out. For one awful moment, he thinks he might be sick, swaying on his feet, until Baekhyun wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close, whispering, "Just breathe baby. Enjoy it."


	2. Chapter 2

“You did so well tonight. I knew everyone would love you.” Baekhyun slips his hands around Jongdae’s waist, pulling him flush against his chest. “You look so handsome.” His voice is soft and his lips brush against Jongdae’s ear when he speaks.

Jongdae takes in his own appearance in the mirror above their dresser, frowning at his hair where it’s wilted a bit, laying flat against his forehead. His eyeliner is a smudgy mess and he feels far from handsome. He wrinkles his nose. “I look so messy.”

Baekhyun laughs, warm breath skating across his skin. “You look like you’ve had a good night.” Baekhyun smiles against his neck, nuzzling his nose behind his ear. “You did have a good night, right?” Resting his chin on Jongdae’s shoulder, he wraps his arms tighter around his waist, his eyes catching Jongdae’s in the mirror. 

Jongdae hums in response, turning his head slightly to nose at Baekhyun’s cheekbone, sliding his hands over the singer’s, where they rest below his navel, thumb smoothing over his knuckles. “I’m really happy.” And he really means it. His heart is so full in his chest and he feels so warm, content. 

“Thank you so much.” Baekhyun drags his hands up Jongdae’s chest, pulling at the knot of his tie. “For doing this.” His lips are warm as they press against Jongdae’s neck, soft as they trail downward and Jongdae tips his head to the side, eyes fluttering closed. “It was so nice to have you there.” Baekhyun tugs Jongdae’s tie from around his neck, setting it on the dresser before getting to work on his buttons.

“I could really get used to this.” He takes a step backward, just enough to pull Jongdae’s shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall at their feet. His arms encircle his boyfriend’s tiny waist, and Jongdae relaxes against him, skin tingling under his fingertips. “Being with you.” He sucks at the skin where Jongdae’s neck meets his shoulder, pulling a whimper from him. “It felt so good.” His tongue runs along the shell of Jongdae’s ear. “Showing you off.” A kiss to his temple. “Being able to hold your hand.” He wraps slender fingers around Jongdae’s own, thumb rubbing circles into his palm. Jongdae lets his head fall back on Baekhyun’s shoulder, sighs when Baekhyun lifts his hand to his mouth, lips pressing against his fingertips. “We don’t have to hide anymore.”

Jongdae turns in his hold, drags his thumb across his pretty pink lips, before leaning in to cover them with his own. Even after all this time, he never gets tired of this. Of the way Baekhyun opens up so easily for him. The taste of his tongue as it curls against his own, the way his fingers drag through his hair, pulling him closer, kissing him more deeply. “I love you,” he whispers against Baekhyun’s parted lips. 

Baekhyun tugs at the front of Jongdae’s pants, working the button free as he licks into his mouth. His fingers press against his dick as he pulls the zipper down and Jongdae’s breath catches in his throat. Baekhyun takes a step back, shrugging off his jacket and Jongdae’s hands find their way to his hips, guiding him toward the bed. 

Baekhyun sits on the edge of it, running his hands over Jongdae’s thighs and looking up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. His hands slide around to Jongdae’s ass, pulling him closer and placing a wet kiss to his hip. Jongdae slides his fingers into Baekhyun’s smooth black hair, tugging lightly as his boyfriend’s teeth scrape against his hipbone. Baekhyun responds by curling his fingers into the fabric of Jongdae’s pants and tugging them down his legs. 

“Why are you still wearing all these clothes?” Jongdae whines as he steps out of his pants where they’re pooled around his ankles. He pushes Baekhyun down until his back hits the bed and crawls over him, nearly popping the buttons off his boyfriend’s shirt in his haste to get it off. He drags his fingers down Baekhyun’s chest, which is already flushed a pretty pink and he latches his mouth to his collarbone, smiling at the way his boyfriend’s breath hitches. 

It doesn’t take long for Baekhyun to rid them of the rest of their clothes, and he pushes Jongdae onto his back, kneeling between his spread legs. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He drags his hands down Jongdae’s chest, bending to suck a mark into his hip and Jongdae arches. Baekhyun's fingers dance along Jongdae's ribcage as he nips and sucks at his stomach, all the while holding Jongdae's gaze with lust-blown eyes. 

Jongdae's face is flushed, arousal thrumming in his veins, and he buries his hands in Baekhyun's hair to pull him up. Baekhyun licks at Jongdae's mouth before pulling back. Jongdae tries to chase after him, lifting his shoulders off the bed, but Baekhyun pushes him back down with a hand to his chest. "I want to look at you," breathes Baekhyun, and then he's lowering his hips to fit between Jongdae's open thighs. 

Jongdae moans, low and drawn out, as Baekhyun grinds against him, and he slides his hands down Baekhyun's back, over the soft slope of his ass. Baekhyun's still looking at him, mouth falling open as he begins to move his hips in slow circles, his cock rubbing deliciously against Jongdae’s His hand comes to rest on Jongdae's cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone, and Jongdae turns to kiss his palm.

"God, Jongdae, you're so gorgeous like this." Baekhyun braces himself on his elbows, pressing his forehead to Jongdae's. "I love you so much." He kisses Jongdae then, his hips finding a steady rhythm. It's sloppy and desperate and dirty and it leaves Jongdae breathless. "I'm gonna fuck you now," Baekhyun pants when they finally part.

Jongdae lifts himself up onto his elbows, watching as Baekhyun kisses a slow trail down his chest and across his stomach, never breaking eye contact. Jongdae's cock is full and red, curving up toward his abdomen, and he groans as Baekhyun's hand closes around it, stroking it from base to tip. "Hand me the lube," he says, his breath hot against the sensitive head of his dick. Jongdae reaches into the drawer of their bedside table, feeling around until he finds the small bottle, tossing it on the bed next to Baekhyun.

The first press of Baekhyun's finger inside of him has Jongdae's head lolling back, a soft whine dying in the back of his throat. "Fuck, you're so tight. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fuck. More." Baekhyun draws his finger out, circling his rim before pushing back in with two fingers, twisting and crooking them, working him open. Jongdae cries out when he fits in a third, pressing against that spot inside him that has his toes curling into the sheets. 

"Does that feel good?" Baekhyun kisses the inside of his thigh, before slowly thrusting in again, the tips of his fingers brushing against that spot, making his dick twitch against his stomach.

"God. In me. Please." Baekhyun pulls his hand away, getting up on his knees. He squeezes more lube into his hand, coating himself fully and settles between Jongdae's thighs.

He lets out a shuddering moan as he pushes in, his face buried in Jongdae's neck, and Jongdae feels so full, so complete. "Oh, God. Jongdae, you feel so good." He pulls nearly all the way out before pushing back in slowly and Jongdae keens at the drag of Baekhyun's cock along his walls. 

"Kiss me." Jongdae breathes against Baekhyun's shoulder, and Baekhyun eagerly complies, propping himself up on his elbows and licking into Jongdae's mouth as he rolls his hips. The pace is languid, and Jongdae wants more, wrapping his legs around Baekhyun's waist and lifting his hips, trying to take more of Baekhyun inside of him. 

Baekhyun's hands find Jongdae's, pinning them to the bed above his head, and he laces their fingers together. 

Jongdae digs his heels into Baekhyun's ass, urging him to go faster, but he keeps his pace maddeningly slow. "No," he breathes into Jongdae's open mouth, "It's better like this." Jongdae wants to protest, but each slow drag of Baekhyun's cock inside of him has heat simmering low in his belly.

Baekhyun draws back a bit and looks down at Jongdae, and Jongdae's face flushes under the intensity of his gaze. He tries to look away, but Baekhyun forces him to stay there with a hand cupping his chin. "Look at me." His hair is beginning to stick to his forehead with sweat, and his lips are red and swollen, and Jongdae thinks Baekhyun looks the most beautiful like this - skin flushed and brow furrowed in concentration. 

He's thrusting harder now, hips slamming into Jongdae's ass, but he doesn't speed up and he doesn't look away. Jongdae can feel heat coiling tighter and thinks he's about to snap. He cups the back of Baekhyun's neck, pulling him down so their foreheads are pressed together as he lifts his hips, meeting Baekhyun's thrusts halfway. "Fuck," Jongdae gasps, "I'm so close." 

Baekhyun reaches between their bodies, wrapping his hand around Jongdae's cock and it only takes a few strokes before he's coming, Baekhyun's name on his lips. Baekhyun fucks him through it, cursing when Jongdae clenches around him. "Oh Fuck, Jongdae. I love you so fucking much." His hips falter, eyes squeezing shut, and he spills inside of Jongdae.

He pulls out slowly and Jongdae winces at the loss, but then Baekhyun is collapsing beside him, pulling him close and peppering his face with kisses. 

"You really are a sap, you know that, right?" Jongdae laughs when Baekhyun shoves him away, only to snuggle against him a moment later.

"I mean it though." He says, fingers drawing lazy patterns on Jongdae's chest. "I'm so happy right now. Just-" He kisses Jongdae's shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'm happy, too."

☆

Jongdae wakes to a warm and slightly sticky weight against his side. Baekhyun has slung his leg over Jongdae's in his sleep, an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, and Jongdae's skin itches at all points of contact between them. He hates how easily Baekhyun can persuade him to go to sleep without cleaning them up - or at the very least putting some clothes on - when they're all sweaty and sticky from sex.

He runs a hand through his hair, still stiff with hair spray, and glances at Baekhyun. His cheek is squished into the pillow, lips puckered adorably and it makes Jongdae's heart swell with affection. Okay, so maybe he hates waking up all itchy and sticky, but he loves waking up next to Baekhyun. He shifts so that he's facing his sleeping boyfriend and brushes the hair off his forehead. 

Baekhyun stirs, whimpering and slowly opening his eyes. He blinks a few times and then he's grinning at Jongdae. "Morning," he croaks. "We're all sticky."

"Whose fault is that?" He jabs a finger into Baekhyun's ribs and almost gets kneed in the dick as a result.

"Cuddling is more important than showering." Baekhyun declares, snuggling closer.

Jongdae's phone buzzes on the table beside the bed and he reaches for it, smiling when he sees a message from his mother. 

You boys looked so handsome and happy. I'm so proud of you. 

There's a picture of them accompanying the message, and Baekhyun cranes his neck to get a better look. 

"We do look happy." He says, kissing Jongdae's collarbone. Jongdae thinks the picture was snapped right after Baekhyun proudly introduced Jongdae as his boyfriend to a group of reporters. His arm is wrapped possessively around Jongdae's waist and they're looking at each other, face inches apart and they're laughing. 

"We should seriously frame this. We look so good."

"I want to see more." Baekhyun takes Jongdae's phone from him, typing his name into the search bar. Jongdae can't see the screen, but Baekhyun is smiling as he scrolls. Then suddenly his smile fades. "Oh." 

"What?" Baekhyun tries to hold the phone out of Jongdae's reach, but he manages to get his hands on it, wrestling it from Baekhyun's grasp.

"Jongdae, don't. Just-"

The words jump out at him and it feels like he's been punched in the gut. Thousands of fans demanding refunds after actor and singer, Byun Baekhyun, 27, goes public with same-sex relationship. "Baek-” He drops his phone on the bed beside him, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Baekhyun, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay." He takes in a shaky breath. "We knew this would happen, didn't we? Give it a week or two. It'll die down."

It doesn't. 

It's been a month and it seems like the backlash has only gotten stronger. They're boycotting his movie and his concerts, buying his albums in mass quantities only to destroy them. His fan cafés are full of hateful comments, calling him a traitor, calling him a faggot, wishing death upon him. 

Jongdae thinks it's kind of amazing how Baekhyun goes about his days as if nothing is wrong, like he's not bothered by the terrible things people are saying about him. But Jongdae knows better. He's gotten thinner. His cheeks are sunken, and there are dark circles under his eyes. He looks so tired, but he doesn't sleep much. 

It breaks Jongdae's heart. And it frustrates him because he wants to comfort Baekhyun. He wishes he could make it all better, but Baekhyun just tells him "It's okay, Jongdae. I was prepared for this. I can handle it." He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Jongdae hears him one night on the phone with Junmyeon. Baekhyun thinks he's asleep, speaking in hushed tones. "They're asking for refunds, hyung. Thousands of them." He sniffles." I didn't know it would be like this. I don't know what to do." His voice breaks and Jongdae thinks there's no worse sound than that of Baekhyun crying.

☆

"Do you regret it?" Jongdae is sitting on the floor of their living room, back pressed to the sofa where Baekhyun lounges, dragging his slim fingers through Jongdae's hair.

"What?" Baekhyun's hand falls from his hair to rest on his shoulder. His palm is warm through the thin fabric of his sweater.

"Bringing me." Jongdae looks down at his lap and pulls at the frayed hem of his shirt. "Going public with everything."

"What? Why would you..." He can feel Baekhyun moving behind him, cushions dipping as he sits up, legs coming to rest on either side of Jongdae. "Hey."

"You're trying," Jongdae says, drawing his legs in to his chest and wrapping his arms loosely around them. "To act like it doesn't bother you." He stares at the carpet. "But I know that's not the case."

"Jongdae-"

"I hear you, Baek." He rests his forehead on his knees. "When you talk to Junmyeon." He tries to swallow. His mouth feels too dry. "Just please tell me how you're feeling."

Baekhyun doesn't speak for a moment - just wraps his arms around Jongdae's shoulders, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. "Do you remember what I said?" He leans his forehead against the back of Jongdae's head, breath tickling his nape. "No matter what happens, as long as I have you-"

It feels like Baekhyun is waiting for him to speak, but Jongdae really doesn't know what to say. He knows Baekhyun means what he says - he's always been honest. But he also knows Baekhyun's hurting. He knows how much he's lost and Jongdae just feels helpless.

"This sucks." He says, finally, unhelpfully. 

"Yeah." Baekhyun agrees, and it comes out as a laugh. Jongdae can't help but smile a bit despite the heavy feeling in his chest. "Come here." Baekhyun tugs on his shirt, and Jongdae pulls himself up onto the couch, draping his legs over Baekhyun's lap and cuddling into his chest. He toys with a button on Baekhyun's shirt, soaking in the comfort of Baekhyun's arm wrapped securely around his shoulders.

It's calming, the way Baekhyun drags his hand down Jongdae's arm and back up in long, slow strokes. "It's hard," says Baekhyun, the sound muted by Jongdae's hair. "I knew I'd have to deal with a negative reaction, but it's..." He takes a deep breath and exhales sharply, like he's quickly deflating. "It's worse than I expected." Jongdae appreciates his honesty, is glad he's finally confiding in him, but, god, he sounds so tired. It makes his chest ache.

"I'm sorry, Baekhyunnie." He wraps his arms tightly around Baekhyun's waist, burrows further into his side.

"Don't be silly, Jongdae." He rubs soothing circles on Jongdae's back, between his shoulder blades, and Jongdae thinks it's unfair how Baekhyun is the one who's hurting, and here he is trying to comfort Jongdae.

"You're always taking care of me, Baekhyun. You're so caring and you really make me feel safe and happy. I want to take care of you, too. I want to make you feel the same way, but I don't know how." Baekhyun pulls him so close he thinks he might suffocate.

"Oh, Jongdae." He cups Jongdae's chin with delicate fingers, forcing him to look at his face. "I've never been happier than when I'm with you. "These past two months have been hard on me, and I know they've been hard on you too." He brushes Jongdae's hair off his forehead, leaning down to place a tender kiss there. "I don't think I could do this without you. You're what keeps me going." Jongdae thinks that if it weren't for him, Baekhyun wouldn't be going through this at all, but he keeps the thought to himself. "Hey." whispers Baekhyun, smiling warmly before dipping to kiss the corner of Jongdae's mouth. "I love you. And I'll never regret the decision we made." He pulls back a bit to look at Jongdae, and Jongdae's pleased to see that his smile reaches all the way to his eyes. "I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, Kim Jongdae, so this was an inevitability. I didn't want to put it off any longer."

Jongdae feels lighter now and he shows his appreciation with a lingering kiss. "Just promise me," he whispers against Baekhyun's lips "you'll lean on me when it's too much. I don't want you to suffer alone."

"I promise." Baekhyun's arms are encircling him again, hugging him tight, and Jongdae begins to relax. "We'll get through this." Baekhyun says. "And when we do, I'm going to take you out and show you off." Jongdae smiles so big it hurts his cheeks. "It'll get better, Jongdae. I know it will."

It does.

Over the next few weeks, people seem to get bored of dragging Baekhyun's name through the mud. There are less hateful comments, fewer empty seats at Baekhyun's concerts, more messages of support from his fans. He's even been given a new endorsement deal. Things are starting to turn around, and Jongdae could not be more relieved. 

And as usual, Baekhyun makes good on his promise.

"It's a nice day. I thought we could get some ice cream and go to the park. Just walk around." Baekhyun pulls a plain black hat down from the shelf in the closet, placing it on Jongdae's head. "You should wear this. You look so cute in hats." 

Jongdae tries to calm the nerves tying knots in his stomach, and he reaches up to fuss with the collar of Baekhyun's shirt.

"Don't be so nervous," says Baekhyun, stepping into his shoes. "It's going to be fine. We're gonna have fun." And then he's grinning, pulling Jongdae out the door before he has a chance to change his mind.

They walk the first few blocks in silence, and Baekhyun won't stop looking at him, grinning at him. Jongdae has the urge to grab his hand, but he doesn't know if he should - if he can. It feels like their first date all over again. Sitting on the couch in Baekhyun's apartment with sweaty palms and a racing pulse. 

Jongdae knows it's probably his imagination, his nerves, but he feels like everyone is watching them, judging them as they pass by. He doesn't know if he's ready for this. But then Baekhyun's palm is brushing against his own, their fingers threading together. "Relax." Baekhyun lifts Jongdae’s hand, pressing a kiss to the backs of his fingers.

"How are you so calm?" Jongdae asks, brushing his knuckle against Baekhyun's bottom lip. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" He gives Jongdae's hand a squeeze. "No one's even paying attention to us." 

Jongdae looks around and he realizes that Baekhyun's right. A few people nod at them as they pass, but for the most part, everyone is too wrapped up in themselves to even notice the pair of them. He feels a bit of the tension melt away.

"And even if they were paying attention," Baekhyun nudges Jongdae with his shoulder. "I don't really care. I'm finally getting to take you out on a date, and I'm not going to let anything ruin that. I'm just happy to be out with you." He leans over and kisses Jongdae on the cheek. "Don't think too much. Let's just have fun."

Jongdae thinks maybe he can do that. He thinks maybe Baekhyun's right. People won't always accept them. There are always going to be those who say hurtful things about them, but as long as they have each other to lean on, that doesn't really matter, does it?

"I love you," Jongdae says, letting go of Baekhyun's hand to wrap his arm around his waist and bumping their hips together. "Now let's go get some ice cream."  



End file.
